The ups and downs
Having my nighttime sleeping habits controlled by a terrorist masquerading as an adorable little baby (sleep deprivation is a torture tactic, no?) means that instead of living my life with a nice, steady rhythm, it's more like a series of unpredictable highs and lows, governed by how tired I am at any given moment.
You see, sometimes she lulls me into submission by sleeping for six and a half hours straight, and I wake up bouncy and chipper and go jogging and eat oatmeal for breakfast. I cross things off my to-do list, I make a nice dinner, and generally have a fine and dandy day.
And then we have nights where she wakes and wants to eat to eat three or more times, and I am not quite so chipper upon waking. That leads to days like today.
DOWN phase
6 a.m.: Alarm rings and I know that the idea of jogging is just laughable and so I turn it off and go right back to sleep.
7 a.m.: Beth comes to stand by my bedside in her pajamas, telling me that she is hungry and she can hear Lucy waking up in her crib, and I groan and tell her I'll get up in a few more minutes.
7:30 a.m.: I sit around in my pajamas, drinking coffee and trying to get some equilibrium for the day. I hear husband singing in the shower and when he gets out, I say to him in a surly tone, "Gosh, you're sure cheerful today."
9 a.m.: Realize that if I don't get in the shower right now I am going to accomplish exactly zero today. Rush around getting myself and everyone else out the door.
UP phase
10 a.m.: Feel energized by the fact that I am in fact dressed, and up, and out of the house. Have a nice hour or so running errands and taking girls to the library.
DOWN phase
11:15 a.m.: Good mood evaporates as Lucy throws a fit at the library. Librarians are super-nice about it but it just makes me feel worse for being the mom with the bratty screaming kid.
11:30 a.m.: Get kids home and realize that if I can hold out for another hour, it will be naptime. Blessed, blessed naptime.
1 p.m.: Put everyone to bed. Beth does not sleep but plays in her room. I collapse on the couch in a daze that never quite turns into actual sleep and somehow makes me feel even groggier.
Mid-afternoon at some point: Beth wants to come out of her room. And have a snack. And read stories. And color. And generally do kid things that do not involve being confined to a single room all afternoon. The nerve of that girl! I haul myself off the couch and wake up gradually.
UP phase
4 p.m.: Realize that I have not done a single household chore all day long. Put away some laundry, start another load of laundry, pick up clutter off all the various flat surfaces in the living room. Bribe Beth with a promise of making cookies if she cleans her room all by herself.
5 p.m.: Make cookies with Beth and Lucy. Eat way too much cookie dough. (But it's oatmeal raisin--that's healthy, right?). They go play outside.
6 p.m.: We have toast and eggs for dinner because it's easy and that's Beth's favorite thing anyway. Everybody eats happily.
DOWN phase
6:30 p.m.: Evie's evening cranky phase sets in. She must be held. Constantly. In a certain position. If these conditions are violated, she screams her head off.
7 p.m.: Lucy's tired and whiny phase sets in. She whines to be held, too, and collapses in a pathetic heap when she doesn't get her way about anything.
7:30 p.m.: Lucy is in bed
7:45 p.m.: Evie is in bed
8 p.m.: Beth is "in bed" meaning she has to stay in her room and play quietly until she falls asleep.
UP phase
8:30 p.m.: I breathe a huge sigh of relief at actually having some time to myself. So many choices! I could read the newspaper! Read my book! Write on my blog! Work on painting Lucy's room.
Last night, the evening UP phase came along, and I tried to accomplish all of these things, since I accomplished none of them during the day, and then I stayed up way too late, just in time for Evie to start waking up and wanting to eat again, making me super-tired in the morning...and we repeat the cycle.
But I am determined to break the cycle tonight and will be in bed by 10 p.m. Hopefully paving the way for a more level-headed day tomorrow.
You see, sometimes she lulls me into submission by sleeping for six and a half hours straight, and I wake up bouncy and chipper and go jogging and eat oatmeal for breakfast. I cross things off my to-do list, I make a nice dinner, and generally have a fine and dandy day.
And then we have nights where she wakes and wants to eat to eat three or more times, and I am not quite so chipper upon waking. That leads to days like today.
DOWN phase
6 a.m.: Alarm rings and I know that the idea of jogging is just laughable and so I turn it off and go right back to sleep.
7 a.m.: Beth comes to stand by my bedside in her pajamas, telling me that she is hungry and she can hear Lucy waking up in her crib, and I groan and tell her I'll get up in a few more minutes.
7:30 a.m.: I sit around in my pajamas, drinking coffee and trying to get some equilibrium for the day. I hear husband singing in the shower and when he gets out, I say to him in a surly tone, "Gosh, you're sure cheerful today."
9 a.m.: Realize that if I don't get in the shower right now I am going to accomplish exactly zero today. Rush around getting myself and everyone else out the door.
UP phase
10 a.m.: Feel energized by the fact that I am in fact dressed, and up, and out of the house. Have a nice hour or so running errands and taking girls to the library.
DOWN phase
11:15 a.m.: Good mood evaporates as Lucy throws a fit at the library. Librarians are super-nice about it but it just makes me feel worse for being the mom with the bratty screaming kid.
11:30 a.m.: Get kids home and realize that if I can hold out for another hour, it will be naptime. Blessed, blessed naptime.
1 p.m.: Put everyone to bed. Beth does not sleep but plays in her room. I collapse on the couch in a daze that never quite turns into actual sleep and somehow makes me feel even groggier.
Mid-afternoon at some point: Beth wants to come out of her room. And have a snack. And read stories. And color. And generally do kid things that do not involve being confined to a single room all afternoon. The nerve of that girl! I haul myself off the couch and wake up gradually.
UP phase
4 p.m.: Realize that I have not done a single household chore all day long. Put away some laundry, start another load of laundry, pick up clutter off all the various flat surfaces in the living room. Bribe Beth with a promise of making cookies if she cleans her room all by herself.
5 p.m.: Make cookies with Beth and Lucy. Eat way too much cookie dough. (But it's oatmeal raisin--that's healthy, right?). They go play outside.
6 p.m.: We have toast and eggs for dinner because it's easy and that's Beth's favorite thing anyway. Everybody eats happily.
DOWN phase
6:30 p.m.: Evie's evening cranky phase sets in. She must be held. Constantly. In a certain position. If these conditions are violated, she screams her head off.
7 p.m.: Lucy's tired and whiny phase sets in. She whines to be held, too, and collapses in a pathetic heap when she doesn't get her way about anything.
7:30 p.m.: Lucy is in bed
7:45 p.m.: Evie is in bed
8 p.m.: Beth is "in bed" meaning she has to stay in her room and play quietly until she falls asleep.
UP phase
8:30 p.m.: I breathe a huge sigh of relief at actually having some time to myself. So many choices! I could read the newspaper! Read my book! Write on my blog! Work on painting Lucy's room.
Last night, the evening UP phase came along, and I tried to accomplish all of these things, since I accomplished none of them during the day, and then I stayed up way too late, just in time for Evie to start waking up and wanting to eat again, making me super-tired in the morning...and we repeat the cycle.
But I am determined to break the cycle tonight and will be in bed by 10 p.m. Hopefully paving the way for a more level-headed day tomorrow.
1 comments:
My youngest is 15 months now and started waking at night a few weeks ago with teething troubles. We got into a bad habit, and he's only just started sleeping through again. I have had several weeks now of tiredness like you describe...I can relate to the ups and downs. I hate dragging my way through the day. Unfortunately sleep deprivation seems to produce more downs. Hope you get more sleep soon!
Post a Comment